I Remember.

I remember your face, more than anything i remember your face, every pore, every fine line, every dimple- the way you’d hide your mouth when you smiled but your eyes told all your secrets, the way you felt vunerable being unmasked, but it was beautiful, so beautiful.

I remember the smell of your skin, it was sweet, the sweetest of smells, it made me feel nostalgic, your skin smelt like home, Even the sunlight danced on the surface of your DNA, enriching your tones with golden lace, you didn’t realise how beautiful you were.

The day you left i felt homesick. I didn’t realise a place doesn’t respresent a home. You were my home.

I remember our last conversation, we laughed so hard we cried, you always had a way of making me feel.

I absorbed you, your every word enlightened me, you were excatley what i needed, but I didn’t realise that while you where saving me, you had slipped away.

How is it possible to see a soul leave the eyes when the person is still breathing? But i saw you, drowning in life, i saw how your eyes became darker, although still full of colour.

Your words sounded full of noise, you couldnt make sense of it all, you felt like your words polluted the air, becoming suffocating and although you still smiled i could see the smog around getting thicker, choking you out.

Everything about you was a paradox. I know you were fighting to survive, full of health yet already dead. You Hated living and yet loved your life. Comfortable numb but suffering greatly.

Who wins the battle of the mind? The raging war inside, Who’s is the victory in the end?

You never wanted to give up, you’d of hated the butterfly effect you created, the earthquake from the ripple that was you. But you craved the silence, the irresistible peace beckoned your demons & in a lapse of judgement you let temptation win.

I remember the silence that echoed in your void the day you went and every day since. The deafening silence that once was full of exploding moments is now so quiet its unbareable. The cold air that surrounded me where your enegry would of once warmed me, it reminds me how cold and cruel life can be.

Id of shared the labour of your burdens and held captive your demons, your battle was never meant to of been fought alone, your silence may of been loud, but your actions where louder and now im screaming why? I was here for you, always here for you?

I wish you’d of known the value of your exsistance. You were more real than depression led you to believe. The volume of your words would of moved mountains if you’d of just been honest, yet shame crashed down and intoxicated your soul.

I remember your face, more than anything, I remember your face and how depression wears a mask that smiles and gives hopeful exchanges yet your eyes could not lie. We could of changed your world with some words if we’d battled above the noise, i would of drowned out the sound with love and broken barriers with my presence. Just being there. Just knowing. An army of two. You were never alone.

But now i’ll remember you, everyday i’ll remember you, until we meet again dear friend ,i’ll remember you.

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