8 things to know if you’re dating someone from Wirral.
Browsing through Facebook before I saw a post by the Liverpool Echo titled The 10 things you know if you’re dating a scouser
After finishing the article, it inspired me to do my own version for all us Wirral Wools.
Purely tongue and cheek….😏
If you are easily offended- oh, you’ll thrive off this.
The Wirral has a broad array of accents depending on which area you are located and how much money you earn. If you are located more West kirby, Caldy, Heswall or Gayton way- any common tones that may link you to Merseyside become abit more diluted and the richer tones of Chester or maybe even further afield are traceable and sometimes put on. If you are looking for a rich partner, make sure you check how they pronounce their words and avoid anyone who asks if you’d like a “cheeky Nandos” or “few bevvies in Coolies” that is when you cross the “Moreton upon Meols” divide and you’ll end up in a relationship due to “great banter” rather than “lavish lifestyle”
Wirral is an idyllic place for a first date! With every other shop closing down to become a restaurant, salon or charity shop you aren’t short of things to do! Also having the choice of 3 different cinema branches (but we all know the Odeon Bromborough with it’s reclining chairs is the one!) Your night will be fun filled and basic. If you’re looking for something a bit stronger (and by stronger i mean getting legless) I’d recommend anywhere with live music and a bar! which most pubs have on Wirral, because we all are pretty much alcoholics.
Wirral people like myself seem to love frozen yogurts or ice cream. You cannot go wrong with either, unless it isn’t from Parkgate or The Yog Bar, We like are food to be Instagram worthy and filtered, anything else just won’t do. We also like to go Hickories for the free popcorn. In fact, We just like to snack and snap are food- We our easy dates. Food wise anyway. Unless you are dating someone from the gym, then it’s constant nandos or pre-made food deals.
Due to Wirral being a peninsula, we are surrounded by beaches and country parks. A gorgeous setting for a first date stroll! You can even showcase some dodgy rock climbing skills on thors rock, Thurstaston, if you really want to impress your date ( Just avoid high peak times when 5 years and small dogs would be climbing also, you want to make it look as impressive as possible) you could even bring out your “Haunted Wirral” book and go round all the locations scary AF things have probably never happened.
Due to the fact pretty much every shop that was once a retail shop has now closed on Wirral, unless for the ages of 45+ most of our fashion comes from online shops, meaning we are all on first name terms with our postie. If you are really desperate and short of time as you’ve got a last minute date tonight, you could always drive down to Birkenhead and browse for a good hour before deciding the clothes are all crap and there is nothing nice to buy, as usual and then panic buy something from Primarni or worse ‘The Asda”
Wirral has a rich history we all know absolutely nothing about if it wasn’t for the random sign posts detailing how old an area is and also Haunted Wirral (my mannnn Thomas Slemen educating a sister) I think i remember reading somewhere that we had Vikings at some point which sounds absolutely awesome and Hollywood worthy, Meols park also has sign posts with history on! This could be a great place to take your date if you want to show the rich heritage of Wirral and also play on the swings.
Wirral also has a vast amount of schools, but mostly the ones you’ll be aware of are the ones that you were rivals with. Hilbre only came onto the radar the day Daniel Craig was associated with it. Pensby was best known as “The Pensby Pram Pushers” Anyone from Neston was considered rivials and/or inbred and West Kirby/ Caldy the ones who passed the 11+ and were now better than anyone else in the world. If you are dating someone from a rival school, welcome to the rebellion.
Mostly us Wirral people are soft at heart, unless you are part of the litter police or block us in with your car, run over the cat, let off fire works, drive like a prick, have an opinion on anything….just make sure you are both not members of Crimewatch Wirral because if the date doesn’t go well, you won’t want the other one dissing you publicly on it.
Thank you for reading you Wirral Squirrel 😎