A different perspective – Leaving an abusive relationship.

Relationships can be hard at the best of times, they take time, dedication, understanding, sprinkled with a hell of a lot of patiences! But in a world where you can filter out the bad times and only show the highlight reel, some can become a place of control, torture and abuse where no one really knows whats going on behind closed doors.

Abuse can show in many forms, for example, being controlling of money. Giving you an allowance that the abusive partner will withdraw at any given time or manipulate to make you feel guilty. Name calling, calling you names that bring you down or make you feel belittled and afraid, Emotional control, placing the blame on you for something that was their fault, making you feel sorry for them when you say you want to leave or they have hurt you in some way, and also Physical and/or Sexual violence which in some cases can lead to rape or murder.

Thankfully new laws have been brought into place meaning it’s not just physical violence that won’t be tolerated anymore! but also psychological. Here is a list of some of the things that is now illegal for a partner to do to you : list here.

Recognising the signs of an abusive relationship is one thing, but how do you leave when you are afraid of what they might do? who do you go too when they have turned you against all your friends and family telling you “We only have each others backs, its me and you against the world!” how do you make that choice to go, when you are now a shell of your former self! Maybe penny-less and with children to support? And how do you build yourself back up when you’re worried about becoming homeless or never being able to recover from the emotional manipulation and physical abuse the partner has left you with.
It is estimated that 35 per cent of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or sexual violence by a non-partner (not including sexual harassment) at some point in their lives. However, some national studies show that up to 70 per cent of women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.

In a study from 2010 ‘The guardian’ it was reported that more than 40% of domestic violence victims are male- but alot of abuse goes unreported due to the stigma around a man being abused by a woman.

Thankfully, more people are now coming forward and speaking out about their abuse and giving a voice to the abused.

My fellow interviewee today who prefers to remain anonymous has very bravely spoken out and given an interview about the abuse received in what first started as a loving, normal relationship, thankfully, no longer with the abuser, she talks today about how she overcame the abuse and is now in a better place.

So here is an interview with an abuse survivor!

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