Life is all about perspective.
Sometimes i am crippled with anxiety, house bound and anti-social. Other times i am loud, outgoing and confident. It really depends on what’s going on in my life to how i react to a situation.
Anxiety plays a leading roll to my reactions, I may not responde to an everyday situation the same way a ‘Normal’ person would, or someone who doesn’t suffer the constant battle between fight or flight mode, Anxiety and Normal mode.
Anxiety is the thorn in my side, the thing i pray about most to be taken away, but it has brought alot of positive aspects into my life and has made me push past barriers I’d never attempt if it wasn’t for the pull of Anxiety and wanting to conquer it.
So here are 5 Reasons Why I Am Blessed With Anxiety.
1) It makes me super caring and able to emphasise on a personal level – Anxiety can make you sensitive, sometimes too much. Every thought and emotion you go through or play out in your head becomes a mental reality. But it also makes you look at life from an outsiders or a different perspective. When someone is suffering with a personal issue, i can put myself in their shoes and deeply emphasise with them. I think its because with anxiety you think the worst at all times. At times I’ve found myself literally gasping out loud at my own thoughts and worries as if i were literally living that moment, sometimes even tearing up playing out a scenario in my head that worries me, scenarios that may never happen, but feel so real at that moment. So when a friend or family member is suffering, maybe even someone i don’t really know, I like to comfort and support them because the anxiety helps me emphasise as I can put myself in their shoes and think, what if that were me? and i wouldn’t change my caring side, not at all.
2) Its forces me to be outgoing- Like the rebellious teenager inside me, whenever i don’t want to be in a social situation and my mind is filled with fearful scenarios, i think- NOT TODAY!! and i allow my rebellious side to come out. At times I literally force myself to do or go places my anxiety would like me to avoid! If my anxiety didn’t play a roll, laziness might and id probably not of done half the things i have done out of sheer rebellion to fight my anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes anxiety wins! but it does get smaller as i get stronger and thats encouraging.
3) It makes mundane, average situations to a non-sufferer, triumphant achievements to a daily sufferer – It may sound silly, but things like going the shop can be a difficult task for someone who suffers with anxiety, especially if they suffer from social anxiety. So going to a shop, which can be the most mundane thing to a none sufferer can be the biggest achievement for a daily sufferer. Sometimes social situations are the hardest, a fear of rejection or saying the wrong thing when put under pressure, so even the smallest of things can feel like the biggest of achievements, of which they are! and should be celebrated.
4) It helps me appericate the outdoors and nature alot more. Sometimes when my anxiety is getting too much and i feel overwhelmed, just going to an open wide space, away from the hussle and bussle of life, being in the outdoors and surrounded by nature and the world’s natural beauty brings a tranquillity to my over exuberant mind. A calmness washes over me and i can appericate all the natural world has to offer. Its a medicine in itself and something i may not appericate as much if it wasn’t for my anxiety.
5) Its apart of my quirky character and i am blessed to have it – That may sound like an outlandish thing to say, why would anyone claim to be blessed with something that can limit their mental well being and daily life and alot of people suffer terribly with it! well i say it because if it wasn’t for my struggles, i wouldn’t of done half the things i have done now, i wouldn’t have the little quirks of being over sensitive and at times too loving (if that is possible), i wouldn’t be able to empathise half as much with peoples mental and personal struggles as i do due to my own suffering with mental and personal anxiety, i wouldn’t enjoy the outdoors as much as i do, i wouldn’t put myself in situations that make me uncomfortable, which means i wouldn’t of met half the people i call friends now or achieved most the things I have because i have forced myself out my comfort zone and been rebellious towards my fears. Its a thorn in my side, but without it im not sure I’d be the place i am today surrounded by the people i am. I wouldn’t be the person i am today!
Its like people say, how can you know loss if you haven’t experienced love first.
Sometimes in life we have to roll with the bad to appericate the good.
Although anxiety can deliberate me and if i allow it – suffocate me, without it, im not sure id appericate all the stuff i do now!
and at times of peace, i feel lucky to know what its like to feel unsettled, thats when you truly appericate what peace feels like most, when you’ve crossed the raging sea’s of life – and survived.
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