When society tells you you’re not beautiful

Since I can remember society has pushed their “perfect” body image on us, ironically with its ever-changing ideals of what “perfect” is.

I have heard:

You can’t be thin.

You can’t be fat.

Size 0 is acceptable.

Size 0 is not acceptable.

Make sure you have junk in that trunk.

Big bums aren’t attractive.

Big boobs are sexy

Big boobs are not sexy, a handful is enough.

The list can go on of it ever lasting contradictions.

You see it all the time in magazines. One year a journalist will be glorifying someone for being a role model, the next year they will be trashing them for having a saggy stomach and not ‘bouncing back’ after having a baby.

It’s a fickle, cruel world.

There is this almighty pressure of an expectation for a goal that simply: Does not exist.

Perfection does not exist.

So why are we all so obsessed with reaching a goal that simply can not be reached.

It’s a sad world were you avoid wearing clothes you want to wear incase you offend someone.

Where you won’t allow a certain photo of yourself to be uploaded because your nose looks big on that angle or it looks like you have a double chin.

We are constantly in fear of other people’s judgments and are living behind a controlled society based upon an unrealistic expectation of perfection.

Being ugly or people perceiving me as unattractive didn’t cross my thought process until I reached high school. My mama had raised me right, I wasn’t vain, I just wasn’t aware of my looks! It didn’t cross my mind!

But obviously that all changes when you start reading magazines or become interested in what boys think of you or a friend makes a passive comment. Even the most innocent of comments can be etched into your mind and taint it eternally.

Magazines tell you what is “in” this summer and what is “out”, while putting pictures up of the celebs who got it ‘wrong’ or ‘right’….and we wonder why these celebs in the public eye are mentally falling apart, pumping themselves with filler and getting surgery until they are unrecognizable.

And while we are all tearing each other apart publicly our children are silently watching, learning, being influenced by our insecurities which will then be projected onto their future perspective of themselves.

I didn’t even realise how susceptible children were until my 5-year-old son was standing in front of my bedroom mirror asking if he had muscles yet!

For the past 4 weeks id been doing an exercise regime trying to get my body back into the ‘socially acceptable’ shape it once was, it was covered in stretch marks from my latest pregnancy and id been slightly obsessive about trying to get it back to pre-pregnancy state.

My son hadn’t taken much notice, not that I thought anyway and yet here he was, in front of my mirror asking these questions.

That’s when I realised I needed to stop obsessing, I needed to focus on what was important. Self acceptance and teaching him about it too.

Change starts from within…if we keep allowing society to tell us we are ugly that is what we will believe and if we believe it, it is what we will tell are children to believe too.

When in actual fact it isn’t you that is ugly, you are fearfully and wonderfully made,it is society that is ugly.

There is no such thing as a perfect nose, smile, body image, look….isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder anyway? And with 7 billion people on this planet, it’s a mere impossible task to impress everyone.

The things we should be projecting into society is love, acceptance and kindness, these are the things we should be teaching our children, that the idea of perfection isn’t a true goal, but you can try to be a good person, not perfect, but good.

Your looks will fade, beauty is fleeting, but if you have a good soul, that is what people will remember! That is what will be said at your funeral, not that you looked bang tidy in your bandage dress and Louboutins.

featuring my scarred but proud me.


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