Boys! One thing i never envisioned was being a momma to a boy.
Whenever I glanced at my future I’d see barbies, rainbows, unicorns & doll house’s- the future was girly, the future was pink!
So when the ultrasound practitioner told me she defiantly saw a proud boy part floating about, I felt a little lost!
Sounds awful I know, I should just be happy to have a healthy bundle of baby in there…but when you have spent the last 25 years of your existence convincing yourself you’d be a momma to a girl, it took a little adjustment to detach myself from that idea.
But Boy, OH BOY!! it was the life adjustment I needed!
Life became messy, chaotic, smelly yet wonderful all at the same time.
The chaos was beautiful.
The pink girly things had taken a back burner and been replaced by dirt, toilet jokes and trucks.
And i have loved and still love every moment of it.
So, Here are: 10 things I’ve realised since having a boy 💙
1. Fart jokes, fart sounds, anything fart related=Winner. I mean, you are probably use to that with your partner/husband anyway…but there is something so much cuter about it when your little bundle of gas…I mean Joy finds it funny too! Civilised Sunday roast chit chat is replaced by fart jokes and sounds and you wonder if you’ll ever be allowed to eat out in public again.
2.You’ll probably spend the next 20 years of your life toliet training them. When we first decorated the downstairs toliet it looked awesome! Andy decided this was going to be the man’s toliet- no women allowed (which was fine by me, one less thing to clean!) It was decorated with super hero’s and the floor was all newly set down. Fast forward 2 weeks later….how do you get wee on the walls?? How is their wee on the floor behind the toliet? How had it removed some of the paint off the wall 😶 the room slowly became a hazard zone of toxicity- one I refused to set foot in on my own accord. When I questioned Ollie about it his simple reply was- ” OH Yeah, I missed the toliet!” Cheers, son! ( Don’t worry- it has been cleaned and sterilized since 😏)
3. Imaginary game play involves alot of explosions and fighting. When my son plays- he goes IN THE ZONE! There is no phasing him out! Bouncing around like a lunatic with his toy of choice close to his face followed by an array of explosive sounds and shouts! Everything becomes an action movie and he is the leading role.
4. Say goodbye to your new sofa. I am sure this doesn’t matter what sex they are- but the sofa becomes the most fun accessory to destroy! If it isnt jumping from chair to chair, it’s making a secret fort where “No Girls Allowed” is proudly shouted from inside. I remember when my mum use to say ‘I can’t have nice things!’ I relate to that now.
5.Fighting with Daddy before bed time is the normal way to wind down and it normally ends in tears! Usually it’s the dad crying as your son graces his teeth with an accidental headbutt or a mini dig to the crown jewels & a very angry momma watching over, shouting “I TOLD YOU NOT TO WIND HIM UP!”
6. Mom’s the word. If it’s time to play or be wild, that’s when daddy takes control. If it’s time to wind down, get cuddles or your little one is feeling poorly sick, that’s when mummy takes control. A mothers love for her child is indescribable, a sons love for his mum is irreplaceable.
7.Holey Moly- another new pair of pants! Victory slides, jumping out of trees, rough rugby tackles, all a recipe for a ripped pair of jeans, normally around the knee area and don’t even bother trying to remove grass stains- it’s time and effort wasted, believe me.
8.When I grow up I want to be __________ insert superhero name here. Dreams of becoming a policeman, fireman or any typical human job is replaced by a superhero title and everything needs to be hulksmashed into action. Place being robbed? Hulksmash. Robber getting away? Hulksmash. Daddy hogging the biscuit tin? HULKSMASH!
9.Going out for the day clean and presentable, returning feral & exhausted. It can’t be just me who tries to have a nice day out as a family and spend half the time shouting “No Oliver don’t do that!” “NO,OLIVER! DON’T JUMP IN THE PUDDLE!” “NO OLIVER, I DON’T THINK THAT’S MUD!” FYI, When i was talking about the exhausted and feral part, i was referring to myself.
10. Your organised, girly world will be turned upside down & there’s no other way it should be. Life became a little more hectic and disorganised when I became a mummy to a boy! I had to become a little more relaxed, allow a little more mess and alot more laughter. Dirt, disorder & funny sounds became a part of life & filled a heart shaped void I never knew I needed.
It was something I couldnt imagine being and now something I couldn’t imagine being without.
Signed: Mum to a boy since 2012.
**Disclaimer- this is based on my own personal experience, which will differ from each individual person & is a subjective truth based on my own personal experience**